Apparently each episode is going to start with the ladies being asked a question and answering it, reality TV show style. This week they ask them what kind of lesbian they are. Nikki says she is a lipstick lesbian, proving she is the straightest gay person in the world; I’ve never met a femme who called herself a lipstick. Then Nikki says she can be butch too, depending on the day. Tracy is a lesbian like anybody else, she likes women. Good answer, Tracy.
Rose is a renaissance lesbian, which I’m assuming means she really likes dressing up in old timey clothes and eating various meats off sticks. Jill says the terms are new to her, she’s learning as she goes. Meaning…she’s never been with a woman before. Cut to Tracy asking herself, “What kind of fucking lesbian am I?” My answer: One that should be in the Victoria Secret catalogue. Mikey is a ‘Mikey lesbian’ and there should be more out there. She cracks me up. Whitney is the only one who can really answer the question; she is a hard femme/soft butch. Jill says ‘you don’t ask straight people what kind of straight they are?’ Actually, sometimes you do. Every heard of tomboys, girlie girls or drama queens? Straight women categorize themselves all the time. Also, who says gay people have to be exactly like straight people? Something tells me Jill is going to be a real pain in the ass in this episode.
So back to Whitney, she says she ‘didn’t mean to circle the airport and pick up another girl after dropping off Sarah! It just panned out that way!” uuhh huuuh. We learn that Tor, the new girl, moved out to LA to do hair and also because she thinks her and Whitney are going to be together. Tor left behind her family, friends and job for Whitney. She is moving in with Whitney until she finds a job. Tor is also the cousin of Alyssa, Whitney’s ex-girlfriend, best friend and business partner. If my cousin ever fucked one of my ex’s I would kill someone. Whitney is making u-haul jokes, which are pretty apt. Tor was in a relationship with a man for 9 years and then she met Whitney and had feelings for her. Tor has hooked up with girls, but she has feelings for Whitney. Alyssa wants things to work out for Tor and Whitney, but she is worried her little cousin will get her heart broken. Alyssa tried to rub off makeup or a hickey from Whitney’s face. Sigh.
Mikey is up next, she tells us she grew up in a rough part of LA, when she was a kid her best friend got shot and died right next to her. So she’s happy about where she is now, in the fashion industry. Then she works a little. It’s great to see an industrious lesbian, but do you really want to read about what she details? Me neither.
Tracy is hanging out with Stamie (pronounced Stay me, what the hell kind of name is that?) and her three kids. Tracy is basically living with Stamie and co-parenting with her. We learn that Stamie’s kids named are Daughtry, Niko and Jagger. Seriously, Daughtry. Jagger is special needs, she has Williams disease. Sad, but he is in good hands with Tracy, Stamie and the ex who will love and appreciate him. Stamie realizes that if Tracy ever really thought about their relationship, she would run from their house. Stamie says she would have to “stop her with my vehicle.” It’s funny, but in a creepy way, which basically sums up Stamie’s personality. They spend the day playing with the kids and it looks exhausting. They put the kids to bed and have some alone time. Stamie tells Tracy she looks pretty, no shit Sherlock. Watching these two together, you really have to wonder if Tracy is with Stamie in spite of the kids or because of the kids. My money is on because of the kids.
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